> I have a son who is almost 13 years old. I'm wondering if it would be > wise to monitor what he does. I'm not sure what the arguments are about > this, but I'd guess it's something like "pedophiles trick children into > meeting them, then they kill or abuse the kids" versus "even children > should have their privacy." Are there more angles to this debate? Well, the number #1 rule kids should have drilled into their skill before being allowed near internet, is don't give out any identifying information, ever, without checking with parents first. They should know not to give out last names, or even their first, don't give out addresses, phone numbers, where they go to school, etc. Note, there's some COPPA thing now that has some strict rules about collecting information from those younger than 13. Pedophiles trolling are pretty obvious if you have any common sense at all... Personally I'd just keep them away from public chats of any kind until they're maybe 16-17. Let them use IM with friends they know in person, encourage them to use the web to research whatever topics may interest them. And maybe use webboards after you've checked them out first. The pervs seem to hang out on the general #teenchat type things, and they single out whoever comes along in private chat. The kids don't know better, and since its not public in the channel no one else sees whats going on. Webboards don't tend to allow this behavior. Its the being singled out in private chats with strangers thats the dangerous thing. These types of people tend to be adept at manipulating kids one-on-one. But to a parent, it should be obvious. Just keep an eye on them. Basically, check things out yourself first. > My feeling, right now, is that kids want to be able to communicate openly > with friends and do things that are not allowed by parents. They need to > do *some* things that parents don't allow, don't they? Our parents didn't > monitor our phone calls, right? What are the chances that unmonitored > computer use will cause serious damage to a teenager? Personally, I'd want to have a non-adversarial relationship with my kids such that they DIDN'T feel they had to hide stuff from me, and thus monitoring them wouldn't be a big deal. Kids should respect you because of your knowledge, accomplishments and experience, not fear you. I really don't think kids *need* to do things their parents forbid. Its just what happens when you refuse to bridge the generation gap and have an understanding and non-adversarial relationship with your kids. > Obviously, the internet is loaded with porn and it isn't hard for kids to > find it, if that's what they want. The stuff I could get at when I was a > kid was much more tame (e.g., Playboy, Penthouse or sometimes Hustler). > Still, does the porn harm the child? We might think it is wrong, but I > have to wonder how badly kids are affected by it. The fact that its forbidden only makes it all the more enticing. All the friends of mine who weren't raised to think porn is evil, are the ones least interested in it. > We all want to guide our kids - lead them into happy productive lives and > we would feel badly if they took a wrong turn and we did nothing. On the > other hand, we know that if we push too hard we can get resistance that > harms them even more. Where to draw the line? True learning only happens after you've done it wrong... -------------- next part -------------- A non-text attachment was scrubbed... Name: not available Type: application/pgp-signature Size: 189 bytes Desc: This is a digitally signed message part Url : http://shadowknight.real-time.com/pipermail/tclug-list/attachments/20050128/27a8f2cf/attachment-0001.pgp